And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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