I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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