We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
