Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
