Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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