Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize