This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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