that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
