Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
