Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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