So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
