i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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