so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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