Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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