this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
