then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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