she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
