Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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