1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
