I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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