Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
