I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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