Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize