are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I didn't notice because vodka
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
