and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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