oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
