Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
