I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
