would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
