Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
