What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
