$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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