used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
