her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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