this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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