He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
