i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
