It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
