Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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