What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
