Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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