Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
