You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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