you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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