so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
