If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
