I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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