dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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