Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
