Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
