I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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