So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
