just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
