party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
