You smell like stripper and shame
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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