return my video game
What a fucking waste of an outfit
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize