Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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