Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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