Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
