Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
